As you wish.

stevenfresco:

i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented i forgot where i was going with this

509,182 notes · 13 hours ago

katbot:

Professor: Your essay must be 3,000 - 6,000 words

Me: image

148,297 notes · 13 hours ago

garbledtenor:

g8dtier:

Honestly what is the appeal of asses I don’t get it. Like there is nothing attractive about them.

image

143,183 notes · 13 hours ago

charmancler:

who cares about hashtags when there’s hashbrowns

265,788 notes · 13 hours ago

ryan-freewood:

i feel like every friday now we’re all just refreshing the lets play channel like

"is it king gavin?"

"please be king gavin"

1,201 notes · 14 hours ago

ohaiitsarielle:

novakian:

rhett-the-jet:

The next time there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”

image

323,417 notes · 15 hours ago

trillow:

[police officer] “sir are you in possession of any illegal drugs”

“sure thing son whatchu need”

116,124 notes · 2 days ago

shingeki-no-flute-fluff:

lithefider:

glorious-godofchaos:

reyairia:

pirateking92:

“That’s your otp”?

“They’re just friends”

image

“That’s your otp”?

“But they hate each other.”

image

“That’s your otp?” 

“But they’re not gay.”

image

"That’s your otp?"

"But they are like 2 feet apart in height."

image

"That’s your otp?"

"But one of them is dead."

image

242,248 notes · 2 days ago

thecorinediaries:

prewetts:

jordanleeemerson:

secretgaygent:

rnints:

imagine if girls used the same style of joke to degrade men like “cool story bro now go chop some lumber”

GO CHOP SOME LUMBER

"what r u doing out of the garage go fix my car"

"Don’t you have something to fix somewhere."

454,473 notes · 2 days ago

  • me: i'm gonna live my life to the fullest!
  • me: watches 17 episodes of a tv series in a row
  • 347,943 notes · 2 days ago

squirticuno:

4gifs:

Dog caught staring

Literally me when my crush looks at me
created by mxrandakerr